I've been emotional lately. I know I'm emotional all the time, but this is new territory. My big chick is changing, maturing, and it's stirring some stuff up inside me. It started me thinking about when the girls were first born. I remember thinking that once they slept through the night we'd be home free. Then once they finally got through teething, potty training, eating solid foods etc...it would get so much easier. Obviously one challenge runs right into the next and we never really feel like we've got it figured out. We never really get that reprieve and a big gold star to put next to our names on the imaginary parenting "chore" chart.
We are moving into the independence stage...the pulling away stage:0 The scariest of all. Our girl goes to high school next year. CANNOT BELIEVE THAT, but I digress. She's got a boy interested in her at school! He ditches his friends to sit with her at lunch. Say what?!! It's not serious. She can't date. But it's weird.
They text. We didn't even have texting when Honey and I dated. So that's a constant connection that my parents didn't have to monitor or think about. She asks to do things with friends A LOT. And I know that's all good and healthy and normal, but it's new for us. We do things together most of the time. Boys have never been in the picture at all...ever.
She's a good girl. Honestly the sweetest you can imagine. She has a heart that as a momma makes me beyond proud. I look at her sometimes and can't believe how blessed I am that God chose honey and I to raise her. So I'm not worried about HER. I trust that we've done our job and she knows the truth. We talk openly about everything under the sun. It's just scary seeing her move away from us a bit. It makes me think about the future a little too much. Where's my paper bag?!?
I'm constantly going through my memory bank remembering how things were when I was growing up. What did my mom and dad allow? How did they let me go, let me be a little more independent? When did I start getting serious about boys? When did I do this and that...
And for me the memories are there. They kinda let me do whatever. I had tons of sleepovers. A LOT of boy crushes. Dated way TOO young. Not that they were bad parents, neglectful or anything they just trusted me more than I think they should have. They loved me and let me be. Is it wrong that I love her and I want to keep things the way they've been forever? I know the answer to that;)
Honey and I share looks a lot. The "oh my dear God...how are we gonna get through this" kinda glances from across the room. Any alone time we get we are talking it though, remembering our teenage years. It's just as much of a growing up thing for us as it is for her.
It's definitely a learning experience. And this pull between wanting to keep her all to ourselves and let her spread her wings will be a little painful for both of us. But I know the Lord will give us wisdom. Just like all the other milestones His grace will be there. His hand will guide us, and in the end that twisty knot in my stomach will subside...maybe when she's 30;)
I also wanted to let you know I did a little talk on joy for this beautiful online workshop. It's a nine month course on the Fruit of the Spirit. So good! Check it out here:) The video goes live today.
Be a blessing.
big ripe berries
warm earth and the most beautiful berry smell
friends that tromp through fields/life with us
that she was loaned to US
that she was loaned to US