Sunday, March 17, 2013

small doses of letting go...




My lens lust has returned.  Remember this post??  Well since then I've bought a couple more.  I don't know what it is about a new lens.  Is it a promise of a better picture?  Is it a chance to be like the professionals?  Ha!  I don't think so.  They actually know what they are doing, but regardless I've indulged a little and my newest member is a 35mm.  I wanted to try a wide angle.  See how it could capture a space.  Open up a room a little.  So with my new "baby" on I took off shooting in a very dark house...and bedtime is what I captured.




I'm not sure when bedtime became a pain, but slowly as the girls have gotten older we kind of dread it.  I'm ashamed to say that.  It's really just the shift of their ages.  Little chick still begs for us to tuck her in.  We should want to right?  She's only going to ask for a little while longer and then poof it's gone.  Waaaaaaa! 


Big chick pushes the envelope every night and could stay up way past us if we let her.  I may be old fashioned, but I still think kids need a good night sleep.  I just do.  As far as the not wanting to tuck in, I think it boils down to selfishness.  At the end of the day we are tired!  TIRED and we just want to lay like broccoli and do nothing.




But regardless of how we feel most nights we go in and pray with our girls and tuck our little one in with all her stuffed animals...each in their assigned spots.  Wondering when that will change.





We form a little circle around her bed and if we are really tired and feeling extra lazy we'll just sing a prayer instead.  Jesus Jesus Lord to me...Master, Savior, Prince of Peace.  Ruler of my heart today.  Jesus Lord to me.  And then we go right into...Because He lives.  I can face tomorrow.  Because He lives all fear is gone.  And I know, I KNOW...He holds the future.  Life is worth the living just because HE lives!





As we leave her room she always ALWAYS yells out "good night...sleep good...have good dreams...love you and the bugs bite...GOOD NIGHT!"  It's her thing.  It's our thing.  I can't imagine not hearing those words before I go to bed every night for the rest of my life.







Big chick's space.  I'm missing her hard right now.  She left on Friday for her first weekend church youth retreat.  We've been praying over this weekend for a long time.  Been praying for God to touch her life...give her some new sweet church friends.  Friends she can be herself with.  Laugh with. 


We've been really slow at getting to know our church peeps.  We sit in the back and run out the door as soon as church is over.  Trying to fix that.  Trying to figure out how to bond.  I can hardly wait to pick her up today.  To hear her talk non-stop. 


It was beyond surreal dropping her off.  I remember like yesterday when my mom dropped me off at the church, then picked me up and I talked and talked and talked about my mountain top experience.  And here I am...the mom.  The one who knows.  The one who's experienced it.  I didn't even make it to the car before the tears were streaming. 


It's a bittersweet mix...this letting go.  You want those experiences for them.  You want ALL THINGS GOOD and then on the inside you are dying a little bit because you know with every milestone they are slowly, gradually becoming their own person.  Spreading their wings.  Inching toward independence...getting ready to fly away;)  It's a good thing.  It's a hard thing. 



Oh and I couldn't leave out a sneak peek at our messy room.  I didn't even make the bed for you.  Now you've really seen our space;)  HA!  Nevermind the boxes...happy mail.  Lens mail;)  My momma blessing me mail.  Here's hoping you have a great week.  I'm anticipating some time to paint.  I feel a little giddy just thinking about it. 



I love you friends.  Thank you for coming here. 
For touching my life with your words. 
You really do mean a lot to me.



Be a blessing.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 my heart and soul...finding her way.
 third day, colton dixon and josh wilson.  the girls first concert.  AMAZING!

date night with sweet friends...laughing until it hurt.  jim gaffigan is the best!
an ig friend (suddenlysuze) who blessed us in a BIG way;)
 
 
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