Wednesday, July 27, 2011

burst my bubble

Not sure what happened overnight, but when I woke up this morning I didn't feel the weight.  I didn't feel the dread.  I felt excitement in it's place and a new acceptance.  Maybe it was all of your prayers and well wishes:)  Honey (who has been out of town on business) texted me about fives with little motivational speeches.  I swear the same epiphany happened to him too.  It was like he turned into Tony Robbins or something. 

I think it just dawned on both of us that it's gonna be alright. This holding onto the past and comparing everything to what we once knew is over. He brought us here. He has a plan for us here. There is a greater we don't see yet.

We've had some meltdowns prior to this great revelation though.  We visited a gym over the weekend and something about that particular gym made us sad to the core.  I can't really explain it.  In the middle of my workout I found Honey and just wept on his shoulder.  He knew.  He was feeling it too.  I love that in the middle of all this change we can cling to each other...that we will grow closer.  That's such a perk to moving where you know no one.  It really makes you rely on one another more.

Then there was the panic attack in Target the other day.  The day when I all I could do was compare how different people looked than what I was used to in Minnesota.  I've posted about all the "perfect" people here before.  Well it's become clear to me that we lived in a was very much white, thin, upperclass...oh and young.  You rarely ever saw an older person.  It bugged me when I lived there, but I was used to it.  So now I have to learn a new normal, and to be honest it's a good normal. 

I want God to burst my bubble.  I want to be free from any judgements or comparisons.   I want to love people and see people like He does.  Not from the outside in, but the other way around.  I've been focusing on MY needs and honestly what I want my focus to be is on HIM.  Only then will I find pure joy...only then will I find my place.  So maybe that's why we're get our bubble burst.  Maybe we needed new faces and places to push us to grow.  Lord knows that you only grow when you are forced, when it's uncomfortable.  I feel another bloom coming:)

Hope you don't get sick of tree pictures.  That's all I got baby;)  See I still got a sliver of a sunset.  It fed my soul just the same.

Have a blessed day.

First photograph is a Mary Engelbreit card.
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  1. I predict, before the end of the summer, God will give you the prettiest sunset you have ever seen in Virginia. Prettier than Hawaii. Prettier than Minnesota. A pretty sunset just for you. Where you least expect it.

    Praying. Praying. Praying.

  2. Hang in there I know how you feel. It's been three years since we moved from home and I still mourn our old life. We have been here for a year and I'm still lost. Change is hard but one day you will wake and it will be a new normal. :) ((hugs))

  3. "I want God to burst my bubble. I want to be free from any judgements or comparisons. I want to love people and see people like He does. Not from the outside in, but the other way around." I don't think you could have said it any better. Thinking of you. Can't wait to see what the Lord is up to :)

  4. Oh, our God is so gracious to reveal to us glimpses of His plan. Even when it's nothing required of Him, He does because He loves us.

    1 Corinthians 13:12 "For now we see in a mirror, dimly..."

    Thinking of ya'll!

  5. Smiling from my soul as I read your words today.
    It seems we are both on the same page each and every day lately.
    Continuing to pray for you and the family!
    Have a Blessed Day!

  6. you just bloom, baby! change and growth always hurts a little, but the look back is the see how far we've come. love ya, sweetie.

  7. You should have spent more time in my neck of the woods before your move...When we first moved to downtown Minneapolis i seriously felt like i was in a different country at times. Our particular neighborhood is apparently knows as being one of the most diverse in the nation and I believe it!

    As for the elderly, there are a number of adorable senior citizens that are regulars at our Y.

    Sorry to hear of your growing pains, my dear - rest assured that God has plans for your GOOD in all of it.


  8. You will adjust. Just don't buy into all the east-coast-psuedo-intellectualism. They love being that out here. Be yourself. Just remember, most of the country are mid-westerners just like you. You are just right.

  9. Change is tough but there's no escaping it in life. A move is a big deal on so many fronts. New job, new home, new school, new church, new friends, new neighbors. Since you've moved before you know that it does all come together but it takes time. I'm glad you and your dh are close and that this is bringing you closer together.

    How wonderful, too, to know that our Lord goes before us wherever we go. He's with you now and will be with you as you settle in.

  10. Glad to hear the pain isn't so sharp anymore :)

  11. i've moved twice in the last 6 years.. to texas from vancouver, canada and recently from tx to california!! while i dont have kids, the transition has been simple but definitely not easy! i have learned to trust and walk by faith! i still compare everything to my home town and i still believe canadians are much more friendly... i adjusted to all the changes slowly.. found a few friends and started exploring!

  12. i think God pulls us away from the familiar and comfortable to draw us to him.

    he likes to shake things up a bit i think! :)

    most of the time it does not feel good, but oh what good can come of it.

    grace and peace

  13. that makes me laugh about the tree pics! You will come to love those trees. I'm just sure of it. :) LOVE this post and I needed to read it cuz my focus has been on me lately. ;(

  14. Sun obstructed sunsets are ALL I've ever known! you've found there's beauty there as well! The picture just looks a little different that's all!

    Have a Blissful-Bubble-Bursting Day!


  15. Continuing to send prayers:O) I know what you mean walking into a grocery store and looking for a familiar face or friend, it gets easier:O)

  16. Welcome to Richmond, it is a wonderfully diverse area..and I'm glad y'all are finding some of it's charm. ...the heat is usually only that unbearable for a few weeks of the summer! (The Science Museum is a fun place to spend a day out of the heat with the kids) your descriptions, I have a feeling you live in the same area as I do :)

  17. I'm with "life with Kaishon"....I think you'll see some of the prettiest sunsets ever in your new state...

    blooming where we're planted is hardwork, but so worth it.

  18. Things will get better when school starts. Your girlies will make new friends and so will you. The best time to move is when your kids are in school.
    August is such a transition month. I feel is myself......I know
    August isn't here yet, but it is close.
    I had a friend move to
    North Caolina. She was miserable. In no time at all she has grown to love it.
    Hang in there.......HUGS

  19. Yay, so glad the clouds have parted in your soul and you are seeing the potential of where you are. I will never tire of your tree pictures because they will remind me of the adventure God is leading you on. The tree/road/sun picture is stunning. Keeping you in my prayers.

  20. When I was 11, my parents had to make the tough decision to take a job 2000 miles away from the only home any of us had ever known. They grew up within blocks of each other and all of our family was within a short drive. But they knew God wanted them to move our family from Detroit, MI to Boise, ID. Talk about culture shock!
    We grew very, very close as a family. My sisters were my only friends for awhile. My mom had a hard time finding a place she fit in. Of course, over time, we made friends who became like family.
    Ten years after we moved here, my dad led the best friend he had made here to the Lord. He came home that night and said, "Now I know why we moved here." It took ten years for the Lord to show us (one of the many, we now know) reasons why we moved across the country.
    This June we marked 23 years of calling Idaho home. It was one of the hardest things my parents ever had to do but it was one the best too.
    The Lord will bless you for your obedience. It just might take some time to see it clearly.

  21. Becky, I've been following...I am so glad you now feel it will be better. You have to expect some bumps. I moved here to be with Doug almost four years ago. I moved down the week of Thanksgiving. When he and I went to pick out our Christmas tree...I had on boots and a coat and looked like a proper farmgirl and was walking around looking at Christmas trees with tears running down my face. He just looked at me and said "oh, honey." It wasn't that I didn't want to be here with him, it was just different. I left all of my friends and my home and family and everything behind and not states behind but it was still very hard. I kept thinking "I want to go home." Sending love and hugs to you! xo, Cheryl

  22. This IS a new adventure! There will definitely be things that you miss and will make you sad because, you aren't in the same place. But, because you aren't in the same place, you will find new and exciting things. You will find new things to love and enjoy. And it is true, when you start focusing outward you will find how bright the world can be and you will see little things that have joy and those who you gravitate toward will be a source of support and good in your life! Hang in there! I love your pictures too. ;-)

  23. You have such a gift with words, Becky. I can almost feel your worries, hope and faith. Continued Blessings to you and your family.

  24. I loved this post (how sweet you could sob on your hubby's shoulder mid-workout and he would get it?!) We've been in SC 1 year. We moved from Australia and sometimes the missing comes in waves. out of nowhere. I love it here but I miss Australia. a couple days ago I came home from a meeting at church where I had volunteered for helping with the High School ministry. As I turned down my street there was a rainbow leading right to my house!!!! I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God brought us to this exact place. this exact house. He is so good and has you right where His purpose for you is.

    Hugs :)

    xo ellie

  25. It's going to take time, but it will be good...I know it. Sending you a hug and keeping you in my prayers.

  26. you're right... bubble bursting can be a good thing. : ) i think God is giving you some peace today. i'm so glad! He's so good, and there's no other place He wants you then smack dab in the tree country of Virginia. And you're there! Right in His perfect will. This is awesome! hugs!!!

  27. This made me a little teary because I'm so excited to see how God is bringing you through this and allowing you to grow closer as a family. This is definitely a great learning experience and I appreciate you sharing the process...and being so honest. Still praying :)

  28. i love that mary englebreit card!! i have the same card (as well as the laugh it up one) displayed prominently in two places in my life. both great messages, particularly when they're combined!

    so happy your new locale is becoming a bit more comfortable. also very glad you have found the sun through the trees! your take on trees and light were on my mind much of the day yesterday and inspired last night's blog post, here. i hope it's okay that i linked!

  29. Now that is so very true! Welcome home to a new BEAUTIFUL start!

  30. First of all, had my coffee this morning from my don't look back mug!
    I have been in the south (from the midwest) for two years....and I know what you mean. We are in rural--and there is poverty everywhere and sometimes right next to prosperity.....i never saw that in my old normal, i have been wondering that maybe this is the way it should be. Because it is there right in front of me everyday and I know God wants me to see it and do something about it.
    I have been praying for you and yours, please do the same for me. Like I said we came here two years ago, with no jobs....i got a job recently! Yeah! my husband had a very very successful business in our old life and it just hasn't taken off here and we need it to. I know He has a plan, I've just been abit anxious waiting for it to unfold.....

  31. I can't decide which blessed me more, your post or all the comments! I rarely read the entire list of comments but each and every one of these precious people blessed me with their insights. Simply stated...God is in control. We are blessed.

  32. Mmmm. That's a good feeling. I love it. I was about to call you this morning, but I was running late for hiking with Nurse Nicki. So happy to hear it's good!!

    We're struggling today. Not so much me, as it's my man. About to break my heart for his sake. I just don't know... but God does. Thankfully.

    Okay off to finish a few things. Love ya sweetie.

  33. Yep. you are going to be more than okay! :)

    I'm so glad! I owe ya an email...:) I didn't forget!!

  34. Wow I love this post and perspective. It points me more to Jesus!


  35. Love your heart and your honesty! God has a plan for you in Virginia!

  36. you are beautiful and so much braver than you know. i can't wait to see His plan unwrap. :) love you today.

  37. Glad you're feeling just a wee bit better. Hopefully each day brings more peace! Hugs!

  38. Adjusting takes time and you are doing outstanding .... This is all new so be gentle with have a huge heart and it will feel like home very soon!
    I was totally mistaken about how far apart we hubby laughed when I told him what I thought it was.... More like an hour and a half! Sooooo easy!
    We should exchange contact into if you would like,

  39. Blessings on you, dearest, in the ups and downs called moving. (I am eight months ahead of you. )


  40. Becky, I enjoyed looking at all of the photos that you shared this evening. My favorite is the sunset photo. Yes, it is different from others you have taken but I found this one to be gorgeous!
    I think that change is very least it is for me. Bu in the end we adapt. I was a Jersey girl for the first 19 years of my life. I loved NJ despite the shows that are on TV it really is full of people will big hearts, friendly people and your best friends are just that! I was sad to leave and to move to NH. I missed all of my friends and found everyone so very different, kind of behind the times? But slowly I made friends and fell in love with this beautiful state. You will be just fine. Your very friendly,have your family and your art. Your going to wow people! I just know that you will. It was so darn good to hear from you. So glad you had some time to post something on your blog.


  41. I need that to be my constant prayer - burst my bubble, Lord, so that there is room for more of You and Your plans and less of me and mine.

  42. I just love— God. Burst. MY. Bubble. You are a powerhouse my friend.

  43. You have an instant friend in virginia. We will get together soon I hope.

  44. Thank you for your honest, poignant, real and powerful writing. I loved this entry and glimpse into your life. I find myself often craving those moments of discomfort, because I have found that God is ever faithful and working during those times...and I love inviting Him to take over!

  45. Oh, I feel for you having just moved. We went from Arizona to Maryland, back to Arizona and are now in Virginia. Have been here since 2007 and I am still adjusting. It's reached the point with so much moving that nowhere feels like home anymore. Hope you settle in soon and feel better about things. :-))

  46. Great post! Change is so hard, but God knows and desires to go before us. What a great God to remind us, over and over if necessary, that He is with us and what He starts He will finish. Thanks for sharing this.

  47. He sure will allow your bubble to be burst! I know! ...and it's good...and bad ...and HARD..and it reeally is All For Good. (but I don't always feel that way)

  48. Love this post! I think we all need our bubble burst from time to time. Thanks for your transparency. So happy for you and all the excitement and new opportunities that will be coming your way. Just think of all the wonderful and witty friends you haven't even met yet. Exciting!!!

  49. We all need our
    bubbles burst
    from time to time....
    Hope you continue
    to grow in the
    transition : )
    xx Suzanne
    PS: Seeing Jill
    tomorrow and Saturday.
    Wish you were here.

  50. oh this is so good to hear...your words in the 5th paragraph touched me today. I guess I needed to hear them. The first photo made me laugh out loud!
    I think we all...I know I do...need our bubble once in awhile...daily even:)
    I have been re-reading Isaiah 43:18-19 and it reminds of your post.

  51. Let me get this straight, they were playing Christian music in your spin class??? How neat!

    Regarding asking for decorating about the peanut gallery from le blog?

  52. NEVER will I get sick of trees!!!!
    I can sure feel God's presence with you in this post. It is so beautiful!

    You are such an inspiration Becky in all of your realness you share. Thank Y♥U.

    Lee Ann

  53. I thought about this post, this evening, while shopping for clearance toys in Target at Westchester Commons. I was wearing my Mister Rogers t-shirt with a hole at the neck and my striped, pajama capris, and I weigh about fifty pounds too much right now. I thought: heavens, I'd traumatize my new neighbor from Minnesota this EVENING, fo sho...

  54. Another post I LOVE by you. You write them so well, I wish I could have you write mine! I think I need to have my bubble burst, because all I know is the mid-west and MN for most of my life. I am glad you are liking the new normal.

  55. Tell me about being used to perfection. I live in So CA... the next city over is Laguna Beach. So may pretty perfect bodies it could make your head spin. It's actually better in the summer because people come from all over and you get some variance.

    But I'm pretty used to it and if you look around you see a lot of real bodies as well. Like when I look in the mirror :)


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