I'm writing this post on Saturday because I know on Tuesday I'll be a blubbering mess. I'm about to embark on a new chapter in my life.
Ten plus years ago I had my first born and I remember that day like it was yesterday. The choice to stay home and be a full time mom just fell into my lap when they placed her in my arms.
For me it was like the decision had been made for me. I wouldn't have known how to go out and get a job to save myself...my job was her. I was beyond blessed to be able to have that option and am so grateful that my Honey felt the same way.
Initially though it was hard. I felt a little lost to who I was. I missed people and interaction and feeling purposeful. But as she grew...I grew into my role and before I knew it there was two. That role of momma became me...became my new identity.
I've been able to share every memory with them and watch them grow and it has been my joy and privilege to be mommy. And I know that role is still mine...it hasn't gone anywhere, but it'schanging.
Today they both get on the same school bus and disappear for the entire day. I know that they will be learning and growing and becoming who they are supposed to be.
I'm both excited and terrified. Excited for new possibilities and scared because the old is passing away bit by bit. I will have an entire day to myself. I haven't had that luxury in 10 years. I will be "creating" myself again. Figuring out who I am and what I want. It's going to be good. I know it will.
The same learning and growing and becoming is going to happen in me too. I just know it! The word bloom has been echoing in my heart as of late. I feel that it's my time to open, stretch and grow to my full potential...whatever that may be. It's going be interesting to see what God's been doing. I trust Him. Even though I've felt like I've been in a dormant stage for a while, I know He hasn't forgotten me...He's been working. There is a Master plan. I feel a BLOOM coming on:)