I'm having a hard time knowing where to begin. My heart is full, I have so much to say. This last week has been extremely difficult. My best friend got news that she had a size 4 mass in her breast. It was oddly shaped and the doctor was baffled. She went in for something else and they found this thing. This really large scary thing!
When she told me I was in shock. It sounded so sure...so bad. We barely spoke on the phone because I didn't have the words. I prayed for her, but to me it sounded so lame and insignificant. As soon as we hung up I lost it. I wept and pleaded and begged God to spare her.
It brought back all sorts of memories of when we heard about Ralph...my father-in-law. I'll never forget my husband calling me as I was driving home and telling me that his dad had stage 4 lung cancer. He had never smoked in his life and here he was dying of that dreaded disease. It was like a nightmare. Up until that day our lives had been bliss. We had never really had anything awful touch us. When he got sick it rocked our security, and it felt like we weren't safe anymore.
I'd like to say over the next few days. I rallied up the strength to be strong and to be full of faith, but I struggled. Every conversation that we've had...every special memory flooded my mind. It's like I buried her before I even knew the outcome. I hate that my thoughts were all over the place and that I was so scared. Being a Christian I know the truth...that Jesus is our healer, that we are to take our thoughts captive and to have faith and really believe when we pray. But for me I was so overcome with fear I couldn't function.
The only place that offered any comfort was God's word. I found a book I'd given to Honey years ago called God's Promises for the graduate. Under the "What to do when you are afraid" section was this scripture, No evil shall befall you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; for He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. Psalm 91:10-11. I prayed this scripture over Lori and her family and just ate up every scripture I could find on fear, healing, comfort etc... Then I emailed, called and blogged about it telling everyone I knew to pray.
Her test results finally came in and her mass was BENIGN!!! I really believe it was more than that, but God heard and answered all of our prayers and a miracle happened! We had so many people warring for her. I can't even tell you the sweet relief I feel...the overwhelming gratefulness to the Lord for sparing her, and to all of you who stood in for my friend.
I know not every story has a happy ending. Unfortunately we lost my father-in-law, and I don't know the answers to why God spares some and takes others. But I do know that we serve a great and mighty heavenly Father who does hear and answer prayer.
Thanks for listening.
All photographs from Alicia Bock.